The Many Faces of the One: article 5 - the unpublished esoteric writings of an aging yogi.
"I am Spirit. I am free. I am not the roles I play. I am not the actions I perform or the experiences I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me.
"I am Spirit. I am free. I am not the roles I play. I am not the actions I perform or the experiences I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me.
I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from the roles I play. I am free from the actions I perform, and I am free from the experiences I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me."
Only God is Real as the eternal 'I-am'. This is our natural unborn state.
What is this?
Who am I?
THE FULLNESS OF NOTHINGNESS
It would appear to us that out of 'no-thing' we experience what we would call 'something', and that so-called 'something' which came from 'no-thing' becomes what is identified with and attached to as being real, permanent, relevant and substantial to us. It has the substantial and tangible appearance of being personal to us, and to others and creates the worldly individualized mental impression of validating who and what we are. This now personal and individualized 'something' is what becomes 'I', 'me' and 'mine', as well as 'them', 'they' and 'other'. It becomes the worldly individualized identity of who I actually am despite being a temporary and transitory embodied projection and expression of reality - pure 'Spirit'. Individuality, conditionality and separateness become our held to reality, experience and identity, rather than the transcendental knowing and knowledge of the 'fullness of no-thingness' - the unchanging and unmoving Deathless Self as 'I-am'. Also as 'life is'. 'I-am' and 'life is' is the same one unified Reality and essence of Pure Being. All is the Deathless Self known as the ever-present and enduring 'I-am'.
From the worldly individualized embodied feeling and mental impression of separateness, conditionality and individuality we evolve and establishes our limited embodied identity; our idea, view, opinion and belief of 'self-hood' or 'me' in relationship to the ever-changing phenomenal world and the world of sensory things, forms, creations and phenomena. We develop, shape and condition our likes and dislikes; our personalized, social and global preferences, opinions, interpretations, beliefs, desires and ideas about the ever-changing phenomenal, conditioned and conceptual world. The ever-changing phenomenal world of things and dramas becomes the ever-changing sensory reality and experience with which the 'I', as an observer and recipient of experience, have an ever-changing individualized feeling and sense of 'self', 'mine' and 'other'. There is this held to notion, belief and idea of 'self-hood' and 'other' in relationship to all experiential things, creations, forms, dramas and phenomena', and there is this phenomenal sensory world filled with ever-changing phenomena and sensory objects, forms and creations that this 'I' now appears to interact with and form an on-going and changing relationship with. This on-going and changing process of 'becoming' and 'being' now defines who I am and what my life is from moment-to-moment, from day-to-day and from birth to death.
The phenomenal so-called world is the ever-changing external object of our experience, mixed together with the ever-changing internal feelings, moods, perceptions, urges, desires, mental impressions and thoughts that the individualized 'I' has in relationship to experiencing, recognizing and knowing this ever-changing phenomenal and conceptual world. I am the subjective 'I' that knows and experiences this ever-changing phenomenal world of things, objects, creations, dramas and forms. I am the individualized subject that has these ever-changing thoughts, moods, perceptions, urges, desires, needs and feelings in relationship to it all. I am the self-aware and knowing individualized subject that has on-going and changing feelings, moods, perceptions, urges, desires, needs and thoughts in relationship to experience; be they pain or pleasure, elation or sorrow, attachment or aversion, self-doubt or certainty. This ever-changing phenomenal and conceptual world of sensory objects and things is where the 'I' feels an embodied individualized sense of one who is born, one who lives, one who acts, one who changes, one who ages, grows old, gets sick and one who will eventually decay and die. Out of 'no-thingness' is the whole fullness and experience of life and living our humanity.
What Atman-Yoga informs and invites us to examine, observe and fully realize is that the true Reality, source, origin and essence of this so-called individualized embodied self and the universe is all the Absolute Self and nothing more. One Reality. One true Identity. This is the highest mystical full-realization, state and knowing of Self-knowledge. If we can call it this. It is Reality and identity as it really is regardless of appearances, forms, dramas and creations. It is the ever-present true light of the one absolute Self. One Reality. One Identity.
It is the 'I-am' of I am.
THE EVER-PRESENT AND ENDURING SELF
It would certainly be rare for an embodied individual to think that somehow the world is what actually appeared to me, and it is the world that disappears from experience and not the 'I' that witnesses and knows it. It would also be very rare that an individualized embodied mind-consciousness would think, that it is the physical body and the mind that appear to me, and it is the physical body and the illusory individualized mind that disappear at death and not the 'I' that witnesses and knows it. I think most of us would assume this idea, view and belief of reality, experience and identity to be complete nonsense. And yet, maybe this is how it really is?
Atman-Yoga challenges us all to consider and examine the possibility that what we assume to be real, personal and substantial is actually unreal, impersonal and unsubstantial and therefore whatever relief from suffering we might acquire and find in the desires, cravings, wants, urges, beliefs and attachments of this dual phenomenal and conventional world they can only satisfy us temporarily. Their power to satisfy us is limited. This is not to say these things are bad or wrong, but we are no longer fooled by the demands, promises and expectations we place on them to somehow complete us or permanently satisfy us. What can be for us a source of pleasure can just as easily become an unwelcome source of pain and anguish. And this absolutely includes the mind/body experience and the dual conceptual and phenomenal world itself. Atman-Yoga openly recognizes and acknowledges that this is simply the way things are in a dual and ever-changing and uncertain world and universe. No one is to blame. No one is at fault. This is simply how it is, and has always been. The body, being what it is, is of the very nature to change, age, grow old, to have pain and discomfort, decay, get sick and die. It is marked, conditioned and shaped by birth, change, transition and impermanence. This is why we as atman-yogis seek to realize and have the highest mystical knowledge, knowing and perception of God - Reality. Simply to know that which is free, formless, unborn, eternal, ever-present and deathless. For the genuine aspiring atman-yogi this is the highest and most important of all human endeavors and commitments. It is to fully realize, know and embody this absolute Truth of reality, experience and identity. The 'I-am' of I am. One Reality. One Mind. One Truth. One Identity.
"I am Spirit. I am free. I am not the thoughts I think. I am not the feelings and moods I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me.
I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from the thoughts I think. I am free from the feelings and moods I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me."
What is this?
Who am I?
KNOWING THE REAL FROM THE UNREAL
"I am Spirit. I am free. I am not the thoughts I think. I am not the feelings and moods I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me.
I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from the thoughts I think. I am free from the feelings and moods I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me."
Only God is Real as the ever eternal and undying 'I-am'. One boundless and ever-present reality, Truth and identity.
Essentially what spiritual Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening or should I say, Atman-Yoga, is suggesting as an assertive step in fully realizing and having God-consciousness, and beyond, pure 'Spirit', is what we are actually experiencing and having is in fact a temporary, impersonal, ever-changing and limited, and yet perfect projection of our own true undying essence, source and nature; with which the feeling and sense of an individualized embodied 'I' and 'me' assumes as being its own experience and reality, when actually the feeling and sense of 'I' is itself only a mental projection and worldly impression. When we directly and closely investigate and examine with spiritual clarity and insight the truth of our individualized worldly embodied experience we find that the embodied 'I' has no real permanent substance other than what is mentally invested in it. We are the ones who give it validation, meaning and self-importance. We are the ones who attach permanence to that which is impermanent. It is only us who assume the ever-changing things, events, creations and dramas of this conceptual world to be real, reliable, satisfactory and permanent and therefore we invest our need for security, love, assurance, fulfilment, pleasure, reward and happiness on them only to be left dissatisfied, confused and disappointed. Rather than putting our reliance ,security and identity on the one true source, we attach it to its temporary and ever-changing forms and creations.
We are the ones that give these creations and forms so much self-importance, value and certainty as being permanent, reliable, personal and real. We are the ones who identify with the phenomenal world and all its ever-changing appearances in a personal and needy way only to be left disappointed, frustrated, blinded and confused. We are the ones who place self-importance and permanence on what we have decided has value, meaning and importance for us. It is only us who bring and attach relevance, purpose and meaning to what experience and the world is. I should really say, the individualized mind. Again there is nothing wrong with this, and yet when we see things for what they really are we are no longer fooled by them, or fooled by the ever-changing individualized mind. With the genuine wisdom of spiritual insight and Truth we recognize and acknowledge that the things that give us pleasure in life, like the body, can just as easily change and become an unwelcome source of pain, disappointment and anguish. Then we are no longer fooled by the appearances and false promises of worldly things, forms, dramas and creations. We see them for what they are and our self-reliance on them becomes secondary. We now think and act with the wisdom of esoteric insight into the true nature of reality, experience and identity and therefore are no longer fooled by all that is transitory, limited, impersonal and impermanent. This does not make the phenomenal world or the things that inhabit it bad or wrong. It is all simply seen for what it is. The one true source of reality, experience and identity is now our sole reliance and refuge.
In and of itself experience is no-thing in particular; it simply is what it is, even though we might consider it to be otherwise. With the individualized mind (thinking, perceptions and intellect) we make our world have meaning, value and purpose, but this is our own doing. This is our own making, otherwise we would all agree on absolutely everything and this clearly is not the case. It is very much a multi-dimensional and diverse dual world and universe. We simply are temporary and ever-changing embodied expressions of our own true undying and infinite reality, identity and nature, which needs no real meaning, definition, form or purpose in order to exist. It simply is. This is the esoteric wisdom and insight of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is as the ever-present, impersonal and abiding knowing of 'I-am'. This is the true oneness and inexhaustible source of all life and the highest and purest state of spiritual Self-realization. For the one who is fully awake and knows the individualized self as the Absolute Self, all the universe and its ever-changing myriad and diversity of things, creations and worlds are so too the Self. The Self is the source, origin, identity and essence of all things, experiences, forms and creations. One Reality. One identity. One Truth.
In and of itself experience is no-thing in particular; it simply is what it is, even though we might consider it to be otherwise. With the individualized mind (thinking, perceptions and intellect) we make our world have meaning, value and purpose, but this is our own doing. This is our own making, otherwise we would all agree on absolutely everything and this clearly is not the case. It is very much a multi-dimensional and diverse dual world and universe. We simply are temporary and ever-changing embodied expressions of our own true undying and infinite reality, identity and nature, which needs no real meaning, definition, form or purpose in order to exist. It simply is. This is the esoteric wisdom and insight of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is as the ever-present, impersonal and abiding knowing of 'I-am'. This is the true oneness and inexhaustible source of all life and the highest and purest state of spiritual Self-realization. For the one who is fully awake and knows the individualized self as the Absolute Self, all the universe and its ever-changing myriad and diversity of things, creations and worlds are so too the Self. The Self is the source, origin, identity and essence of all things, experiences, forms and creations. One Reality. One identity. One Truth.
What is this?
Who am I?
SEEING THROUGH THE VEIL OF ILLUSION
What Atman-Yoga is inviting us all to directly investigate and examine for ourselves is the suggestion of 'no mind', therefore no experience, and no individualized subject that experiences'. It is all empty and free of anyone independent and substantial that is doing and having experience, even if the experience of it might seem to appear otherwise. There is no permanent separate or individualized embodied doer. There is only the playing out of interconnected temporary phenomena and appearances that have no permanent individualized 'self' and individual 'I' that is playing them out. It is all impersonal, transitory and empty of individual doer-ship. Things are done in and of themselves as an interconnected and selfless expression of Reality - pure Spirit, which has infinite and endless possibilities and boundless potential to continuously and endlessly express itself in multiple, diverse and multi-dimensional forms, phenomena, situations, dramas, realms, creations and worlds.
In this esoteric recognition, knowing and knowledge of pure 'Spirit' nothing needs to happen and yet everything can and does happen. Nothing needs to exist or be and yet all experiences and phenomena can and do exist. Nothing needs to change and yet everything can and does change. Nothing need be done and yet all things can be and are done. None of what is done or not done actually alters, lessens, affects, threatens, hinders, limits, improves or changes what reality and identity really is as Absolute. It remains unborn, unchanged, timeless, unhindered, free, pure, perfect and deathless.
What we experience as ever-changing conceptual phenomena is all happening in and of itself as an infinite possibility and selfless on-going impersonal expression of the Absolute, the Deathless and Unchanging Self, pure 'Spirit'. This spiritual knowing and esoteric knowledge of reality, experience and identity, for what it is, is what is known commonly to us as God-consciousness or Spiritual Awakening (Sat-Chit-Ananda). It is all 'emptiness', pure 'Spirit', appearing temporarily and falsely as something substantial, permanent, conditioned, individualized and real. What I call the unmade, unmoving and unchanging impersonal Deathless Self, or pure Spirit'. The appearance, change and disappearance of all worldly and unworldly phenomena, events, forms, constructs, creations, dramas and conditions does not affect, change, lessen, threaten, hinder, touch, limit, taint, improve or alter what pure 'Spirit' essentially is. It remains untouched, unmoved, inexhaustible and unchanged and yet full of infinite possibilities and boundless potential to continuously and spontaneously express its own pure essence and nature freely and abundantly in an endless myriad, complexity and diversity of multi-dimensional worlds, phenomena, conditions, realms, constructs, creations, dramas and forms. And yet it always remains eternally unchanged, unmoved and formless as it is. It is the unchanging and unmoving Deathless Self. It is the undying 'Spirit' - Pure Being. The Deathless Self alone is. All the world is itself Divinity. It is all Divinity. Imperfection is the real illusion. One enduring Reality. One Mind. One Truth.
What we experience as ever-changing conceptual phenomena is all happening in and of itself as an infinite possibility and selfless on-going impersonal expression of the Absolute, the Deathless and Unchanging Self, pure 'Spirit'. This spiritual knowing and esoteric knowledge of reality, experience and identity, for what it is, is what is known commonly to us as God-consciousness or Spiritual Awakening (Sat-Chit-Ananda). It is all 'emptiness', pure 'Spirit', appearing temporarily and falsely as something substantial, permanent, conditioned, individualized and real. What I call the unmade, unmoving and unchanging impersonal Deathless Self, or pure Spirit'. The appearance, change and disappearance of all worldly and unworldly phenomena, events, forms, constructs, creations, dramas and conditions does not affect, change, lessen, threaten, hinder, touch, limit, taint, improve or alter what pure 'Spirit' essentially is. It remains untouched, unmoved, inexhaustible and unchanged and yet full of infinite possibilities and boundless potential to continuously and spontaneously express its own pure essence and nature freely and abundantly in an endless myriad, complexity and diversity of multi-dimensional worlds, phenomena, conditions, realms, constructs, creations, dramas and forms. And yet it always remains eternally unchanged, unmoved and formless as it is. It is the unchanging and unmoving Deathless Self. It is the undying 'Spirit' - Pure Being. The Deathless Self alone is. All the world is itself Divinity. It is all Divinity. Imperfection is the real illusion. One enduring Reality. One Mind. One Truth.
I am the 'I-am' of I am.
'I-am. Life is.' This we cannot deny. If we say "I am not and life is not", then who is it that makes this so-called claim of non-existence and non-being?
THE ABSOLUTE ONENESS OF LIFE
In a way the phenomenal world and all its appearances are mind-made constructs that have no intrinsic or permanent separate existence all of their own, and so too with the mind and mind-consciousness. The individualized mind is also a construct made up of mental impressions, perceptions, urges and intellect, that too have no intrinsic or permanent individual nature of their own. We could say that all experience is mind-made, but I prefer the usage of 'emptiness'. All phenomena arises from 'emptiness', is made of 'emptiness' and returns to 'emptiness', remains as 'emptiness', never having left 'emptiness' and yet 'emptiness' remains forever as it is, unchanged, infinite, formless, inexhaustible, causeless and unmoving. Like the ocean and its waves. Numerous waves have and do occur, rising and falling, appearing and disappearing, large and small and yet the ocean remains forever as it is - unaffected, vast, ever-present and unchanging. The ocean is still the ocean. Reality is still Reality regardless of the coming and going of phenomena and events.
It would appear to us, in the way things are, that it is only us who really decide what has purpose, value and meaning in our lives. It is only the mind or should I say the choices, preferences, urges and assumptions of the mind that gives things a meaning, identity, value and purpose, and yet, in truth it is all 'emptiness'. It is all pure 'Spirit'. Even that which appears as mind and mind-consciousness. These too are empty of permanence. The true undying nature, source, origin and essence of all experience including the mind/body experience and mind-consciousness are the same. Despite the worldly impression of separateness, duality, conditionality and individuality, it is all the impersonal and selfless transcendental Reality playing out of one inexhaustible and indestructible essence and source, and for the sake of these esoteric writings and works, I will continue to call it pure 'Spirit' and the 'Deathless Self'.
It is the 'I-am' of I am.
For me, this pure 'Spirit' is the one true source, origin, nature and essence of all that is, and all that will ever exist. Its nature and identity is freedom itself. Its essence and identity is peace itself. It is the boundless and inexhaustible Deathless Self. Like the ocean, despite the numerous waves that have come and gone, appeared and disappeared, the ocean remains forever as the ocean. The appearance and disappearance of waves does not change the ocean. So too with Reality and identity. So our true undying and selfless essence, pure 'Spirit', is not something to be found, acquired, created and gained. It is not going to suddenly show up. It is what we already are. Here and now, and always. It is the unborn, selfless and eternal impersonal Divine Self. It is the eternal and untouched 'I-am'. It is the one true and enduring identity of all.
All the world and its myriad of things, creations, dramas and phenomena is this one boundless and inexhaustible Divinity. All alone is the Deathless Self as the eternal 'I-am'. This is the truth of reality, experience and identity that we now rely on, surrender to and identify with. It is the one unlimited and inexhaustible source, origin and essence of all that is, and it gives continuous life and substance to all things and events. It is with its on-going grace that all things and creations come into being and have their existence. For the genuine aspiring and committed atman-yogi this is the true meaning and embodiment of faith. All Reality as one. The Deathless Yogi is only identified with God, seeing and knowing all reality and experience as God. One Reality. One Truth.
Here and now. 'I-am. Life is'. So what is this 'I-am'? Who am I? The Deathless Self alone is.
What is this?
Who am I?
This is the suggested self-inquiry of Atman-Yoga. OM, shanti, shanti, shanti.
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I-am. Life is. I am one with all life as 'I-am', and all life is one with 'I-am'. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."
Atman-Yoga Daily Meditation: 'Only God is Real' as 'I-am'.'
Song of the Deathless Yogi:
I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all.
Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.
This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother.
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