What is this?
Who am I?
The Many Face of the One: article 4 - the unpublished esoteric writings of an aging yogi.
THE ONE AS THE MANY
"From the spiritual platform and Truth of pure transcendental knowing and knowledge, Pure Being, nothing need change and yet everything can change; nothing need happen and yet everything can and will happen. All reality, experience and identity is seen and known as one - untouched, unaffected, enduring, perfect and absolute. 'I-am' alone is as all things, despite the appearance, change and disappearance of all things, events, creations, dramas and phenomena. The Deathless Self alone is. For the genuine atman-yogi this is the highest Self-realization, knowing and knowledge of Pure Being. All reality, experience and identity are one as the ever-present 'I-AM'."
This is the unsurpassable esoteric message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is.
continuing from the esoteric collected writings and works of article 3
Obviously in our everyday lives we do not assume ourselves to be a chair or a table or a tree because these are worldly phenomena, creations and things that we experience as separate and individual from the individualized embodied feeling and mental impression that we have of ourselves existing as 'I' and 'me' or 'mine'. The same can be said to be true with the individualized embodied experience of the phenomenal and conceptual world; be it the sky, the ocean, the sun, the clouds, and all animate and inanimate objects and worldly phenomena, creations and forms. We ordinarily and mostly see and relate to ourselves as a separate 'I' and embodied individual.
The worldly feeling and mental impression of self, 'me' or 'I' for most of us feels very much confined, limited, individualized and identified to the mind/body experience, and everything else is very much seen or known as being separate and distinctive from that individual individualized embodied experience and the idea and feeling of a 'me' 'mine' or 'I'. And yet in some way we can also easily recognize how individualized experience is in some larger context interconnected and linked to everything else by the very act of self-awareness and the self-knowing of experience. Despite experience appearing as separate from us, the phenomenal world still seems to mostly affect or not affect how we think, feel and act. What we experience as a subject of experience and experiencing, as being 'me', 'mine' or 'I', is in some way dependent on an object that is being observed, known and experienced in relationship to it; and this also includes the knowing and knowledge of knowing. This knowing and knowledge of knowing being the very act of self-awareness and individualized knowing. There is the self-recognized act of knowing and the sense of an 'I' and 'me' in relationship to this self-knowing of knowing. What we can say is that knowing itself is known, and this awareness and knowing of knowing we would assume to be the 'I' and 'me' who is self-aware and knowing experience and the one who is actually self-knowing and aware. We assume it to be the one or 'I' who is knowing and having experience, and in this knowing and knowledge of knowing experience, the 'I' is known. 'I-am' is or we could say, Reality is. Certainly something or one is experiencing, having and knowing experience, forms and reality.
'I-am. Life is.' Surely we can all agree this is recognized, experienced and known, even now, otherwise what is this that is happening right now, in this moment and all moments?
The worldly feeling and mental impression of self, 'me' or 'I' for most of us feels very much confined, limited, individualized and identified to the mind/body experience, and everything else is very much seen or known as being separate and distinctive from that individual individualized embodied experience and the idea and feeling of a 'me' 'mine' or 'I'. And yet in some way we can also easily recognize how individualized experience is in some larger context interconnected and linked to everything else by the very act of self-awareness and the self-knowing of experience. Despite experience appearing as separate from us, the phenomenal world still seems to mostly affect or not affect how we think, feel and act. What we experience as a subject of experience and experiencing, as being 'me', 'mine' or 'I', is in some way dependent on an object that is being observed, known and experienced in relationship to it; and this also includes the knowing and knowledge of knowing. This knowing and knowledge of knowing being the very act of self-awareness and individualized knowing. There is the self-recognized act of knowing and the sense of an 'I' and 'me' in relationship to this self-knowing of knowing. What we can say is that knowing itself is known, and this awareness and knowing of knowing we would assume to be the 'I' and 'me' who is self-aware and knowing experience and the one who is actually self-knowing and aware. We assume it to be the one or 'I' who is knowing and having experience, and in this knowing and knowledge of knowing experience, the 'I' is known. 'I-am' is or we could say, Reality is. Certainly something or one is experiencing, having and knowing experience, forms and reality.
'I-am. Life is.' Surely we can all agree this is recognized, experienced and known, even now, otherwise what is this that is happening right now, in this moment and all moments?
What is this?
Who am I?
THE WORLD AS THE DREAM
In the normal individualized embodied waking state of' 'becoming' and 'being' there is the phenomenal world and all its ever-changing appearances, forms, events, situations, dramas and activities, and all the time the phenomenal world and its ever-changing appearances, forms, events, situations, dramas and activities are known to us, a 'me' or 'I' appears to experience and recognize an individualized subject of experience too. This we would see as being the individualized and embodied subject of experience and experiencing; the one who is knowing and is aware of self-knowing and has the recognition and knowledge of this phenomenal world and all its ever-changing activities, forms, dramas, situations, creations and appearances. The ever-changing phenomenal world and all its appearances, forms, dramas, events and activities being the object and objects of our day-to-day self-aware and individualized embodied 'I-am' experience. All the time the ever-changing sensory realms of experience and experiencing are present and have the experience of sensory objects, the 'I' appears to have the worldly feeling and embodied sense of there being an individualized embodied subject that I call 'me' or 'I' that is experiencing them. There is a feeling and idea of separation and individuality between the one who has experience and is experiencing and the things that are experienced, recognized and known.
So too in lucid dreaming, there too is present the unworldly individualized feeling, recognition and self-knowing of a conscious and self-aware subject who is now being fully self-aware and self-conscious of the acting and playing out of the dream state and all its dreamed appearances, forms, creations and activities whilst the body is physically in what we would recognize and know to be a normal everyday sleep state. Here the seemingly phenomenal world and all its appearances, forms, creations and activities are the dreaming reality that is being experienced rather than the normal individualized embodied waking reality. In both these states of consciousness, lucid dreaming or waking, an individualized feeling and sense of there being a subject of experience, the feeling, knowing and knowledge of 'I,' appears to be present to us. I-am. Experience is. Something or someone is self-aware and knowing this experience and knowing all the appearances and ever-changing conditions, forms, phenomena, events and activities that contribute to their existence. The act of 'intelligence' is present, and the self-knowing of this act is identified and known.
So too in lucid dreaming, there too is present the unworldly individualized feeling, recognition and self-knowing of a conscious and self-aware subject who is now being fully self-aware and self-conscious of the acting and playing out of the dream state and all its dreamed appearances, forms, creations and activities whilst the body is physically in what we would recognize and know to be a normal everyday sleep state. Here the seemingly phenomenal world and all its appearances, forms, creations and activities are the dreaming reality that is being experienced rather than the normal individualized embodied waking reality. In both these states of consciousness, lucid dreaming or waking, an individualized feeling and sense of there being a subject of experience, the feeling, knowing and knowledge of 'I,' appears to be present to us. I-am. Experience is. Something or someone is self-aware and knowing this experience and knowing all the appearances and ever-changing conditions, forms, phenomena, events and activities that contribute to their existence. The act of 'intelligence' is present, and the self-knowing of this act is identified and known.
Obviously in a deep sleep state no subject of experience appears to be experienced and no phenomenal world appears to available to us, although in the normal waking state and lucid sleep state, the deep sleep is known to us to have ended. In the deep sleep state both the phenomenal world and the subject that experienced it become void to us; and yet we know the potential of 'I' is still temporarily dormant and apparently unaware of the conceptual and everyday world. The 'I-am' still is. In the deep sleep state the 'I' still retains the potential to have experience once the dream state or waking state returns. Most of us are confident that the individualized embodied feeling and knowing of 'I' or 'me' will still be there when we potentially return to the normal everyday waking state and conceptual world. We do not assume that in deep sleep we cease to exist. I'm confident that most of us would expect to wake up from deep sleep and to be the same 'I' that had gone to sleep, and most of us would assume to be the same 'I' that will wake up from sleep. The same would be true of the phenomenal world and all its ever-changing appearances, forms, creations and activities. Most of us would happily and confidently assume it to be there when we wake from the dream or sleep state. We would not assume to wake up from sleep and there be no phenomenal world and no embodied subject that experiences it, unless the so-called individualized 'I' had for some unexpected or expected reason ceased to exist. What we would call death. The end of the individualized embodied self and form.
And yet, who is this individualized embodied 'I' that has experience and experiencing? What is this 'I' that is present in the waking state, dream state and also is dormant and present in deep sleep state? Who is this 'I' when both the phenomenal world and all its appearances, forms, creations and activities are present or not present? And who is this 'I' when there is no individualized self-knowing or knowledge or feeling or self-awareness of 'I' or 'me' or 'mine'?
I put it to you; from where does this individualized 'I' arise? What is its true origin and source?
I put it to you; from where does this individualized 'I' arise? What is its true origin and source?
Who or what are we before the everyday conceptual world appears or disappears to us?
We can also ask; "who is the real subject of self-knowing and all that is known? Who is it that is self-aware of there being a subject of self-knowing and all that is known? Who or what is this knowing and what is it when the self-knowing of knowing is not known? Who or what is this embodied 'I' that exists and ceases to exist?" Again rather than just chasing, desiring and having experience, in esoteric self-inquiry into the nature and Truth of reality, experience and identity we look at experience directly, and examine in the stillness and silence of 'I-am' its nature, essence, source and true origin. Again asking, who am I before this world ever appeared to me? Who am I before I ever appeared to this world? And who am I when this world disappears to me and I disappear from this world?
'I-am. Life is'. And yet who or what is it that has this self-knowing and knowledge of 'I-am'?
"in a minute of conceptual so-called time this body can end and cease to exist. In a matter of hours following its death this body can be taken away never to be seen again. In a matter of days it can be burnt and turned into ash, or simply buried, and in a space of a so-called week those same ashes can be scattered in a place that few souls would ever visit or know as existing. So, who are we when all this is done? What is left of 'me' or 'I' when all this has come to pass, end and ceased to exist? What is the true origin, nature, source and essence of 'I-am'? Who was I before this world even appeared o me? Who am I when this world disappears to me? And who was I before I unexpectedly or expectantly appeared to this so-called conceptual world of things, dramas, forms and creations?
We can also ask; "who is the real subject of self-knowing and all that is known? Who is it that is self-aware of there being a subject of self-knowing and all that is known? Who or what is this knowing and what is it when the self-knowing of knowing is not known? Who or what is this embodied 'I' that exists and ceases to exist?" Again rather than just chasing, desiring and having experience, in esoteric self-inquiry into the nature and Truth of reality, experience and identity we look at experience directly, and examine in the stillness and silence of 'I-am' its nature, essence, source and true origin. Again asking, who am I before this world ever appeared to me? Who am I before I ever appeared to this world? And who am I when this world disappears to me and I disappear from this world?
What is this?
Who am I?
'I-am. Life is'. And yet who or what is it that has this self-knowing and knowledge of 'I-am'?
ALL THINGS WILL COME TO PASS
"in a minute of conceptual so-called time this body can end and cease to exist. In a matter of hours following its death this body can be taken away never to be seen again. In a matter of days it can be burnt and turned into ash, or simply buried, and in a space of a so-called week those same ashes can be scattered in a place that few souls would ever visit or know as existing. So, who are we when all this is done? What is left of 'me' or 'I' when all this has come to pass, end and ceased to exist? What is the true origin, nature, source and essence of 'I-am'? Who was I before this world even appeared o me? Who am I when this world disappears to me? And who was I before I unexpectedly or expectantly appeared to this so-called conceptual world of things, dramas, forms and creations?
Who am I? What is this?
I confidently think the majority of us would agree to mostly experience an individualized embodied continuum of subjective and objective experience in our everyday lives. We mostly don't wake up each day and find ourselves in a completely different body or with a completely different worldly identity. There appears to be for the most part an on-going individual and individualized embodied feeling, self-knowing and knowledge of an underlining or inner essence of 'me' or 'I' in some context that gives a sense of 'I-am' or 'I am awake to having and knowing experience'. It is very clear to us that in the everyday normal waking state, that the dream state and the deep sleep state are no longer experienced as part of our experience and in the dreaming state it is the deep sleep state and the waking state that are now not experienced. And it is also known to us that in the deep sleep state neither the dream state or the waking state are experienced. All phenomena in the dream state and the waking state have completely disappeared from our experience. And yet in all three states most of us would happily assume that the idea of 'I' and 'me' continues to exist in some context or form, unless it had ceased to exist. Again, what we would call death.
As a matter of self-inquiry into the idea and truth of 'who am I', the Truth of reality, experience and identity, we could potentially ask of ourselves, "who or what is ever-present in all these three states?" "And what, if anything, is beyond these three states?" Who or what has the self-recollection, recognition and knowing of all these different states? What is my true abiding and enduring essence and nature? What is the true nature and origin of 'I-am'? This is why I repeatedly inquire and state:
As a matter of self-inquiry into the idea and truth of 'who am I', the Truth of reality, experience and identity, we could potentially ask of ourselves, "who or what is ever-present in all these three states?" "And what, if anything, is beyond these three states?" Who or what has the self-recollection, recognition and knowing of all these different states? What is my true abiding and enduring essence and nature? What is the true nature and origin of 'I-am'? This is why I repeatedly inquire and state:
What is this?
Who am I?
This simple meditation and contemplation into the true nature, source and essence of reality, experience and identity eventually brings us directly to the experiential Self-realization of transcendental knowing - the 'I-am' of I am. Our true identity with the Absolute.
LOOKING WITHIN TO THE SELF OF SELF
In the worldly individualized embodied waking state, the phenomenal world and the subject of experience, the feeling and self-knowing of 'I' or 'me', appears and is present, and that now becomes the everyday reality and experience of 'self', 'I' and 'me' that is active in our experience in relationship to the phenomenal and conceptual waking world. In the same way in sleep when we are lucid dreaming that dreaming reality becomes active to our experience. So when so-called conditioned or phenomenal experience is known, it would appear that we experience an individual individualized subject that is having it; the subject of experience and the subject of the self-knowing of experience; even though in deep sleep there appears to be no subject, knowing or experience known. It would appear to us that out of no-thing we experience something and when there is no-thing there still seems to be the potential for something to come into existence as 'I' or 'me'. Therefore, the 'I-am' still is.
We could further inquire and contemplate on this matter what is this 'something' when there is no-thing - the void of emptiness? What has happened to the 'I' or 'me' when no-thing is actually known or experienced? What is the nature or essence of 'no-thingness' from which 'I' arises and has its existence? From where does the individualized mind take form? I only continue to say this to potentially encourage others to further consider and examine the possibility that 'Only God is Real' as the ever present 'I-am' and that everything else is illusion. For me, all has its impersonal being and identity with the Absolute, and the Absolute is the one reality, source, origin and essence of all that is. The fully realized and accomplished atman-yogi identifies with this and only this.
I am the 'I-am' of I am.
What is presented to you here in these esoteric writings and works on Atman-Yoga is the ancient and perennial spiritual question and quest of spiritual self-inquiry and Self-realization into the nature and essence of reality, experience and identity, 'Who am I?' 'What is this?'
I admit and acknowledge, what is here to read is nothing particularly new or revolutionary. My only unconditional intention and motivation is to openly and freely communicate and put to you that 'Only God is Real' as 'I-am' and therefore there really is no-thing to really fear in life or death. The things and dramas of this conceptual and conditioned world do not touch, threaten, hinder, limit or affect that which we truly are, although it might appear as such. 'I-am' is one with all things and all things are one with 'I-am'. This Truth, through esoteric self-inquiry and contemplation into the true nature, source and essence of reality, experience and identity, you must evidently and purposely examine, investigate, question and discover for yourself in the effortless contemplative and meditative silence and stillness of 'I-am'. For the genuine and committed atman-yogi this is the highest esoteric Self-knowing and knowledge of God - pure 'Spirit'. 'I-AM'. The Deathless Self alone is. This is the unsurpassable and ever-present Truth of reality, experience and identity. True self-reliance and immortality can only come to us from fully recognizing and knowing our true enduring and ever-present identity with the Absolute. What I refer to as 'I-am'. This is the eternal identity of the Deathless Yogi.
I can assure you all that I am not personally trying to convince you or anyone of anything. I am simply putting to you the Truth of reality, experience and identity as I have come to experience and know it. I simply want to openly and freely share my own realized, established and tested Truth of reality, experience and identity so it might too help other embodied souls as it has continually and successfully helped me navigate the ups and downs of conventional living - the so-called embodied 'me'. Nothing special but highly valuable, free and reassuring. It is simply the Self knowing the Self.
'I-am. Life is'. Not 'I am' this or 'I am' that. Simply 'I-am. Life is.' Only God is Real as 'I-am'.
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I am. Life is. 'I-am' is one with all life and all life is one with 'I-am'. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I am. Life is. 'I-am' is one with all life and all life is one with 'I-am'. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."
Atman-Yoga Daily Meditation: 'Only God is Real' as the eternal 'I-am'.
Song of the Deathless Yogi:
I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all.
Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.
This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother.
Post article 2023 note: It is really interesting how reading back on these compiled esoteric writings and works how much is simply voicing the same conclusion only from a variety of angles. Having worked in music writing and production, in some ways I see this as my Atman-Gita. My song of the Self. The only song that I really have left to sing of all my exploits and ventures in examining and knowing what it is to be a God-knowing man. A spiritual path I have been truly blessed and fortunate to take. It has helped the embodied 'me' make peace with all that life is and to fully recognize and know its true enduring identity with the Absolute.
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