The Many Faces of the One: article 17 - the unpublished esoteric writings of an aging yogi.
'I-am 'Spirit' affirmation
"My heart and mind are always open and receptive to the pure wisdom, love, beauty, well-being, plenitude and peace of pure 'Spirit'. I always have an abiding connection with the pure wisdom, love, beauty, well-being, plenitude and peace of 'Spirit'. Pure 'Spirit' is the one and only true essence, origin and source of all life. With pure 'Spirit's grace, power and love I am learning to realize and know intimately my true limitless essence and undying nature, and to recognize and know my divine oneness and identity with all creation. Living daily in the truth and knowledge of pure 'Spirit' I am always fulfilled in the perfect realization that pure 'Spirit' is the one true origin, essence and source of all life and needs, and I happily abide in this spiritual knowing and knowledge. I radiate 'Spirit' at all times, in all places and in all my actions. I am always deeply connected and one with pure 'Spirit'. OM, shanti, shanti, shanti. 'I-am', peace, peace, peace.
I am Eternity seeing, recognizing, realizing and knowing Eternity.
DEATH IS THE REAL ILLUSION
We can all inwardly ask ourselves, as have all those inquisitive and adventurous minds before us who have aspired and attained authentic Self-awakening, 'when death comes, what does it mean? What or who is it that is dying? What is this? Who am I?
We all know that this body we temporarily inhabit will cease to exist. It ages, decays, perishes and ends like all things that are made. We all know, what is made can be broken. What is put together can be pulled apart. What has a beginning will end. What is new will with time become old. What is born will die. This is simply the way of things in an ever-changing dualistic world of phenomena, forms and constructs. Only that which is unborn is deathless. Birth and death are inseparable. Where there is birth there is death. Therefore we aspire to seek and know that which is unborn, unmade and deathless.
Birth and death, one can not exist without the other, like inside and outside. There is no inside without an outside. As there is no birth without death. What is acquired can be taken away. The body is acquired and therefore is can be taken away. It is created therefore it can be destroyed. It is born therefore it will die. It is simply the way things are in this dualistic reality of experience and experiencing. With the death of the body, we can ask, is the 'I' thought dead too? Does 'I' consciousness exist beyond the temporary conditions and appearances of the physical body? Certainly there is an awareness and feeling of there being a body which is experienced, and yet is this awareness the body? The body changes and ages, and yet does consciousness itself change and age too? Does the awareness that witnesses and knows the ever-changing physical stages of youth, aging, pain, dis-ease, pleasure, decay and old age change too? Does the one who silently and unmoving looks out on all these ever-changing stages and conditions of life change too? What is this stuff that we call life? What is its true nature?
With the death of the body we can ask, 'is the 'I' that knows the body dead too?' Is the body, 'I'? There appears to be the sense of the thought of 'I' with the form that we call body. It also appears to be present in the mental capacity of the mind as an experience. It somehow appears to be associated to the one who is being aware of experience and the one who is acting out experience. This is experienced as the subject of experience and experiencing, and yet we could argue that the subject of experience is not aware in the act of sleep except when dreaming. So is this 'I' thought that is present in the waking and dreaming state really me? And who am I when the 'I' thought is not present like in deep sleep? Obviously the 'I' can recollect that it was in a dream state therefore who am 'I' in deep sleep? It can recollect that it was asleep or certainly that the body was in a sleep state. What is it that considers the ideas of birth, old age, decay, death, being and non-being, existence and non-existence? Is the one who is aware 'me'? What is the very nature, substance and essence of awareness? And what is it that knows awareness; the awareness of being actually aware? What is the real stuff of awareness?
WHO AM I BEFORE I WAS?
There is a sense of 'I' when one is lucid in the dreaming state, and yet this is easily recognized as mind-consciousness. So am 'I' mind-consciousness? Am 'I' awareness itself? Any yet what is it that knows mind-consciousness and awareness? How could 'I' be mind-consciousness when mind-consciousness, the feeling of 'I', is able to recollect that there was a period of time when it was not present? I am not aware in sleep so would it be right to say, 'I am awareness?' I would say I simply am, 'I-am'. I am not aware in sleep so would it be right to say, 'I am awareness'. Despite having no personal identity with the mind/body experience in deep sleep we still refer to the fact that 'I' was sleeping when in the waking state, so who is the 'I' in deep sleep? We can recollect a time when we did not exist in our present form, and a moment when we will not exist. So, who is the one who is recognizing all this? What is the truth of 'self' beyond the mind/body identity and the awareness and knowing of all phenomena?
I say to you now, who is the 'I' that knows all experience and experiencing? Who am I before the world has told me who I am? Of course, I would say I simply am, 'I-am'. Nothing more than this 'I-am'. This is what is means to radiate the Divine at all times, in all places and in all actions and non-action. This is the esoteric Self-realization and Abiding-awakening of pure 'Spirit' as the one true origin, essence, identity and source of all life and phenomena. All souls who authentically fully realize and know this abide as this unsurpassable knowing and knowledge of 'I-am'. The challenge here when dealing with the voice of 'I' within the mind/body experience it is only known when mind-consciousness (the awareness and knowing of objective experience) is present, otherwise it is unconscious. And yet many mental and physical activities happen without the 'I' being aware of them. It too is perceived as an object of awareness. If the 'I' thought is temporary as not always being present then is it correct to say we are only what we experience in a waking state? Who are we when we are not awake or conscious of the phenomenal world of experience and experiencing? Who is it that continues to exist during sleep state? Who is it that is existing when the 'I' is not perceived? What is my true abiding and ever-present nature and does it transcend what we know as death?
Some spiritual seers and mystics would say and conclude that we are pure 'Spirit' or 'soul' transcending the body, and yet one with the body, and this is why despite having no real identity with the mind/body experience during deep sleep we still exist as 'I-am'. 'I-am' both transcends the body identity and yet is one with it. 'I-am' is one with all things and yet free of all things at the same time. The appearance and feeling of being in bondage to the body is the real illusion. Yes, the body dies, in that what is acquired is taken away, but the 'spirit' that transcends the body identity is not touched, destroyed, threatened or altered by the lack of identity with the mind/body experience and its death. Absolutely there is no death without birth and pure 'Spirit' is the unborn and unconditioned essence and reality of all things, and this includes the mind/body experience. Therefore it is concluded that we, at our deepest essence and nature, are the formless and deathless 'Spirit'. This pure 'Spirit' being the one infinite reality and identity within which all experience appears, changes and disappears, and yet experience does not change, alter, limit, threaten, destroy, lessen or affect what this reality and identity truly is. This would conclude that 'I-am', the unchanging and impersonal presence of Pure Being, 'Spirit', is behind and at the source of all the temporary phenomena and constructs that appear to be the mind/body experience.
I am that which transcends the mind/body experience. I am that which transcends the body and the mind, and intellect. I am that which transcends space, time and form. 'I-am' simply is regardless of existence or non-existence. This would conclude that the feeling and thought of a separate individuality that resides only as the mind/body experience is the real illusion, that this mind/body identity and the fact that consciousness mistakenly invests in and attaches to as being real, and therefore suffers as a consequence. The illusion of individuality creates the feeling of burden and yet all this Self-realization is impersonal too. There is no one who is realizing it and being realized, even though it appears to be this way. What happens is, that which was never real gives way to that which is real. The dreamer awakes from the sleep of material ignorance. It is the self-knowing of the Self, and yet the Self is realized as already realized as having always been the Self, despite the endless playing out of time, space and form. It is all 'emptiness' expressed and known in the acting and playing out of all things.
GOING BEYOND THE DRAMA OF LIFE
When closely looking to the 'I' thought to investigate what it is, it appears to simply disappear and have no intrinsic nature of its own but something still seems to recognize this phenomena of 'I'.
We might tell ourselves it is simply the brain and mind activity having the capacity to question its own existence, and yet what is it that recognizes this? If we deny the existence of 'I-am' then what is it that denies this? The very fact that we can observe this line of questioning and all the phenomena in question suggests that potentially there is a reality and identity behind all that is being put into question. So we can ask and inquire of ourselves, what is this? What is this stuff called life and 'self', that asks so much of us and at times gives so little or nothing in return, only to reward us with death? What purpose does any of this really serve? I am certainly not saying all this to get down on life but simply to look beyond the mind's conclusions of it. To challenge the thinking and idea that we really know.
The genuine spiritual challenge here is to not allow the intellect to arrive at a conceptual answer or conclusion but to seek beyond the capacity of knowing and negate that which changes to arrive at the suggested pure essence and presence of 'I-am', which actually requires no mental and intellectual input. It is pure effortless being, 'Spirit', that is always present and residing in and as all things, and yet what it is, is free of all things therefore it does not require things in order to exist or be itself. It simply is 'I-am'. Nothing known can exist independent of it. All things reside in it and with it, and yet it is not a thing in and of itself, therefore it can't be observed objectively and directly as an experience of experiencing. It is that on which all experience and experiencing is seen and known. This is the true paradox of Self-realization. The world is both real and not real. It is both empty and full. The 'I' is both there and not there. Some truth-seekers and seers would say that what we experience as 'I' is simply no more than the senses experiencing sense objects. They would say that experiences do not define us or limit us. All experience is impersonal. Mind is simply that which happens in relationship to the senses experiencing sense objects, like a rainbow which has no intrinsic existence of its own. It is simply made of non-rainbow components. What we know as the world is simply a temporary construct of the mind.
Yes, the body dies, so are we dead? What is this stuff we call life and 'self''?
I openly admit what is here on this esoteric blog is mostly the babble and ramblings of an inquisitive and self-inquiring mind. I know I am not alone in what is written here. I take no real ownership, recognition or appraisal in what is presented. Even with all that is presented and written here, life for what it is, still seems unfathomable and a great mystery to me at times and might never truly be solved conclusively. I can certainly envy those individuals and group of individuals who appear to have so much certainty and self-assurance about life and what it is; giving instruction and guidance on what people should do or not do. Personally, as an individualized form, I make no claim to know, and yet I am willing to state and standby that the Deathless Self alone is, and all that we assume to know has its being or non-being because of it. For me, what this is transcends knowing and not-knowing, being and non-being, bondage and liberation. It alone is all things regardless of what we believe or conclude life to be or not be. All things are simply because it is. This is what I personally mean by 'I-am'.
Personally as stated existence itself still makes no real sense to me. For many of us it would appear to be a heavy and troubling burden filled with fleeting and minute moments of pleasure and reward. We can desire, chase and pursue so many things in life only to be left dissatisfied, confused and wanting more. There can be so much ugliness in the world that we can struggle at times to see any real beauty, joy, love or peace in it. We all know that human beings can do terrible things and the truth is, we do. This is why I present this esoteric blog to you so we can genuinely transcend and own up to what life really is and see things clearly for what they really are. Not to reject them but to own and accept them. Only then can we truly live honestly and wisely. What that life will look like I can not tell you. It is not my place to tell you, but you will know yourself for what you truly are and that might be enough to help you make peace with what life is. You will fully realize and know that whatever you chase and pursue in life will only ever satisfy you temporarily. There really is no permanence to be found in that which is fleeting and changing. In recognizing and knowing the 'emptiness' of all things we can fully embrace our humanity and see the divine in all things and phenomena.
With this esoteric understanding and knowledge you will know how to truly love, make peace and let go, surrender, despite the on-going challenges and changes of life.
This is the essential and core message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self, alone is.
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I am. Life is. I am one with all life and all life is one with me. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."
Song of the Deathless Yogi:
I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all.
Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.
This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021.
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