What is this?
Who am I?
- The Buddhist Sutra on the Heart Realizing Wisdom Beyond Wisdom
THE SACRED PATH TO THE SELFLESS SELF
"All that we hear, taste, touch, smell, see, think and feel will cease to exist. All this will come to pass perish and end. All these things and phenomena are created, shaped and conditioned by impermanence and 'emptiness'. This is the very nature of all created and conditioned things, creations and forms - no exceptions. So too with the body, mind and mind-consciousness. No one is to blame. No one did anything wrong. This is simply the way of things. Plain and simple. From this deeply profound spiritual recognition, self-knowing and knowledge comes true universal empathy, love and compassion for all humanity and transient things, forms and creations."
I'm including this particular Buddhist 'sutra' (thread) 'on the heart realizing wisdom beyond wisdom' as it is very dear to my heart and has remained so for over 30 years on this blessed and sacred path of spiritual self-inquiry, self-discovery and Self-awakening so that it too is also widely available to all who choose to visit, view and read this particular formulated esoteric blog. Even after 30 years of continued spiritual self-inquiry and practice; directly and closely examining, investigating and contemplating the insights and wisdom of various spiritual and religious traditions, and esoteric teachings and teachers, this particular Buddhist 'sutra' remains as valuable, insightful and conclusive as I felt it was when I was first unexpectedly and graciously introduced to its blessed and beautiful embodied existence.
I personally spent a period of 10 years of this embodied self-aware existence as a committed practicing lay Buddhist, and had the good fortune and welcomed pleasure of studying with a variety of established and widely renowned western Buddhist teachers of the Theravada, Mahayana and Vajrayana traditions; although my personal spiritual interests and commitments were mostly focused on the Theravada tradition of Buddhism (the School of the Elders). I'm pretty sure among the written and compiled contents of this esoteric contemplative blog you will pick up on the Buddhist themes, vibes and teachings that have heavily influenced, flavored and shaped these esoteric writings and works. Certainly it is openly and clearly there with words and concepts like 'emptiness' and 'impermanence', although I personally do not see these labels, beliefs, views, opinions and concepts as historically unique to Buddhism.
With having also committed time, energy and years to western spiritualism, Jnana Yoga and Bhakti Yoga it is worth considering that these particular spiritual and philosophical traditions would have too potentially and very likely strongly influenced, flavored and shaped my personal thoughts, conclusions and revelations into the true nature and essence of reality, experience and identity. As I have continued to make very clear throughout this esoteric blog, I do not see myself as a spiritual authority, influencer or teacher. I am simply sharing what has continued to help me and stayed with me all these so-called embodied years on this blessed and sacred path of esoteric Self-awakening and Self-discovery, and my personal and individualized attempts to fully transcend the limiting confines, suffering and challenging conditions and on-going changes of the so-called human experience and egocentric identity. Not as a way to reject my embodied and individualized self-aware humanity but as a way to fully understand and embrace it with a genuine and fully realized freedom, love, acceptance and peace of heart, body and mind. It is an attempt to know Reality for what it really is.
Personally, I can not speak to you or anyone as a genuine, committed and practicing Buddhist or as an authority on Buddhism and Buddhist philosophy and thinking, but what I do know is this so-called body is of the nature to change, grow old, decay, weaken and die and therefore self-inquiry into the true nature, origin and essence of reality, experience and identity remains as necessary and important to the human experience and earthly condition as ever. For me, transcending the illusionary limitations and painful identities, changes and challenges of the mind/body experience is as important and relevant to us today as it has always been and I am certain that it will remain so all the time that humanity has its place in the world or even the so-called universe.
I can assure you all who openly and inquisitively view and venture the carefully compiled articles and pages of these esoteric writings and works I am not here with a personal or hidden agenda to persuade or convince anyone of anything. This is not a dogma, condition or an instruction. I do not see or have any evidence of my existence as having some kind of hidden agenda, purpose or visible self-importance or authority. I am simply inwardly directed to record and share what I have experienced and know directly to be Truth and what I have also found other like-minded souls, truth-seekers and individuals, both past and present, to also know to be their Truth too. Of course, this does not make me an expert, authority or teacher on these spiritual, religious and philosophical matters or conclusions. I can only share with you what I genuinely feel and know from my own direct experiential esoteric self-inquiry and practice into experience, identity and reality and leave it there. It is Truth as I know and live it to be.
I can assure you all I am always extremely wary and watchful of how easily the so-called individualized mind can become and be very self-righteous, deluded, misdirected and misinformed by its own spiritual conclusions, beliefs, ideas, opinions, interpretations and views. History is a testament to this. The individualized mind is of the vulnerable and unfortunate nature to easily make mistakes and errors; to misinterpret things and to distort the so-called truth of reality, experience and identity. Especially when we crave for certainty, control, reliance and permanence. Personally, I can assure you I do not place my trust or reliance in or on the so-called mind or intellect. What is presented here comes from the direct experiential knowing of knowing without knowing. For me, it is a direct experience of esoteric experiencing, self-knowing and knowledge, which is both free of the mind/body identity and intellect. It is fully identified and established with the Absolute, pure 'Spirit' as the one true source, origin, identity and essence of all experience and experiencing, and it does not really require or need to be spoken of. This pure 'Spirit' is what I repeatedly call 'I-am' and this 'I-am' is the ever-present and inexhaustible source, origin, identity and essence of all that is. It is nameless, formless, timeless, ageless and completely without any attributes. It is the naked Truth as it is.The one true Self of all reality
It is the 'I-am' of I am.
I happily and lovingly accept and acknowledge that as a temporary individualized self-aware embodied form and creation of humanity and reality in today's ever-changing conventional, demanding, troubled and conceptual world, I would be very much viewed and seen by many minds as a flawed, less than average, plain and simple man with no exceptional or interesting features, achievements or noticeable gifts, attributes or talents. But I never intentionally ventured and went on this blessed and sacred path of esoteric self-inquiry and Self-awakening to simply gain and prove anything to anyone or to be anything of any recognizable or special self-importance. I simply wanted and fully intended to finally stop being the angry, mindless and confused man that I was being; so full of hate, shame, guilt, confusion, envy, hurt and blame with the world, others and myself. I genuinely and deeply wanted to finally find and make peace with my father's untimely death and death itself. For me, death was suffering and this suffering was unconsciously hurting and sabotaging my capacity to live, accept and love life to the full. It was continually and at times unknowingly hurting myself and others and it needed to stop. I had reached a point in my embodied self-aware existence that I genuinely needed it to stop hurting and damaging myself and others. At this point both life and death had once again become suffering for me. Nothing at this point of wanting to stop made any sense.
THE JOURNEY TO TRUTH
As a young inquisitive boy, I certainly saw death as suffering and I wanted this suffering to end. I also at the time saw life as suffering too; the harsh and unpleasant pain of loss, hurt, grief, lack and sorrow, and I too wanted this suffering to end. Not only for myself but for all those that I liked, knew and loved. Plain and simple. When I was physically nine years old my father unexpectedly died in a sudden and fatal motorcycle accident. I can genuinely say, from that moment on-wards my life was never the same. I suddenly realized, recognized and saw how death was what waited ahead for all those that I knew, liked and loved and that included myself. I suddenly and unexpectedly deeply realized and saw the impermanence and emptiness of all things, creation, creatures and lives, and I could not completely describe to you now in words the deep, dark and immense mental pain, confusion, despair, anguish and sorrow that I felt at the time for all of life and myself. I also had no doubt that we would all feel and experience it at sometime too. This too I fully realized and struggled with as a young boy trying to make full sense a world that now seemed completely meaningless, unfair, brutally harsh, painful, hopeless, pointless and cruel. I could not see how anyone could be happy or content in this life and world of pain, loss, hardship, grief, lack, hurt and death.
For me, suddenly the so-called world and all its demands, delights and promises did not make any sense to me anymore and I saw no point or meaning in the importance that appeared to be placed on worldly things and the needs and demands of this so-called world. At the time I thought this little boy would never recover from the immense pain, despair, grief, anguish, loss, anger, hurt and sorrow he felt, but as we all know, life in all its myriad and diversity of forms, creations and conditions, continues to go on in one way or another, regardless of any personal pain, loss, misfortune, anguish or suffering we might have experienced or have, and that is exactly what happened to the so-called 'me'.
Personally I had no spiritual or religious experience, support or refuge at the time of my father's sudden death, but I spent many nights alone as a young inquisitive and confused boy deliberately examining, investigating and quietly contemplating the idea and concept of death and what it would potentially mean or be like to be dead. I would ask myself, 'what is it to be dead?' 'What does it mean to be dead?' "What is death?" I would even try to imagine what death and being dead would be like and feel like. I would repeatedly lay on my bed awake at night for hours with my eyes closed contemplating 'death' and the possibility of what being 'dead' is, like or meant. At the time, I genuinely thought I could potentially experience and know what it was like for my father to be dead. I know it sounds ridiculous now, but something in me genuinely and intuitively thought I could some how actually and fully know what being dead would feel and be like. This attempt to understand and know death directly stayed with me for a very long time, but as I aged, like all things, this endeavor was eventually and temporarily put aside and forgotten, so I thought.
WAKING UP
I am not sharing these events to sound like a victim, but to only highlight why I would eventually be slowly and unconsciously guided and directed to take and commit to a sacred path of esoteric self-inquiry and Self-realization. Of course I know this experience and unfolding of events is not unique or special to me. I simply share this because I realize and know we can all have our own personal and individual reasons and motivations to finding ourselves on a genuine and committed spiritual or religious path of Self-discovery and Self-awakening and I am pretty sure I am not solely alone in my own unraveling of experience of the unexpected or expected painful and emotional life-changing impact and pain of suddenly loosing someone or anyone to death.
Obviously I soon realized in my direct efforts to examine and contemplate death that the body, being what it is, is of the nature to die, cease and end. I now know it is not anyone's fault; no one is to blame and no one did anything wrong. It is simply the way things are. The body, being what it is, is also of the nature to potentially have pain and sickness. Again, I know now that it is not anyone's fault; no one is to blame and no one did anything wrong. It is simply the way things are. Pain and pleasure simply come with the having of the embodied self-aware human condition and existence. It is the way things are in a dual reality of conditions, consequences, causation and forms.
The body, being what it is, can also become sick or be broken. It is not anyone's fault; no one is to blame and no one did anything wrong. It is simply the way of things. The body and its sense organs are of the nature to decay, cease and die. Again I soon realized it is not anyone's fault; no one is to blame and no one did anything wrong. It is simply the way things are. I assume this is why the Buddha stated that 'birth is suffering'. With birth we as a physical individualized self-aware embodied form are all always vulnerable and open to the way things are in life and the consequences that come with having a body. Plain and simple. This is why, as a committed atman-yogi, we are encouraged to look to that which is unborn, unchanging, ageless, timeless, deathless and formless. I can say now I spent many years thinking and blaming myself for my father's death. Thinking and feeling that I had done something wrong or bad to cause his death. Of course I now know this not to be true but that is how I saw it at the time.
FACING THE TRUTH
The mind is of the nature to easily distort and misinterpret the truth of reality, identity and experience. The mind is of the nature to easily make poor and bad decisions and choices; blinded by its own self-importance, desire, hatred, ignorance, confusion, rage, beliefs, views, lust, envy and fear. The mind is also of the nature to have and experience painful and damaging mental states, moods, thoughts and impressions; like grief, sorrow, restlessness, anger, envy, jealousy, sloth, lust, depression, doubt, fear, rage, obsession, attachment, aversion and so on. This is why on the sacred path of spiritual self-inquiry and Self-awakening we do not seek and take refuge in the mind/body experience or intellect as the abiding, reliant and trusted source and origin of our desire and need for permanent love, peace, contentment, beauty, immortality, plenitude, freedom and satisfaction.
The sensory objects and creations of experiential knowing can only satisfy us temporarily. The sensory world of change can not be our permanent and reliable source of refuge and happiness. The body and mind are unreliable, as is the world of the senses and all its sense objects and creations; this is why I feel that the Buddha stated that these things as suffering. When we look we find no lasting and permanent refuge, satisfaction or contentment in them. It will all come to pass, perish and end. Whatever we seek to acquire and have from them will not last. It is all the impersonal, ever-changing, uncertain and transitory playing out and dance of 'emptiness'; the good, the bad, the beautiful, the so-called ugly, the light, the dark, the young, the old, the slow, the fast, the silent, the noisy, the simple, the complex, the painful and the pleasurable. All of it.
Emptiness is form and form is emptiness. This is Absolute. All is made of 'emptiness', filled with 'emptiness', of 'emptiness', and forever remaining as and with 'emptiness'. This ever-present 'emptiness' is all things and creations and this 'emptiness' is the true nature, source and essence of reality, experience and identity. We are all this unborn and causeless Reality as the abiding and ever-present 'I-am'. This 'emptiness' is the fullness of all life and therefore the one true abiding and ever-present source of all reliance and plenitude. It is the 'I-am' of I am.
'WHO AM I'
If what is offered and available here on this esoteric blog on the nature, source and essence of reality, experience and identity is seen as the foolish and mistaken ramblings, conclusions and writings of a deluded mind, then I will happily leave this world as one of many who have continued to remain fully deluded, fooled and misguided. I openly admit even with all the spiritual insights, teachings and wisdom that have touched, blessed and shaped my temporary embodied self-aware existence, life itself, still, at times, makes no sense to me from a human individualized perspective. For me, there still is a palpable beautiful strangeness and mystery to it all that still captivates my attention.
I openly admit that I slightly envy and admire those individuals and groups of individuals who can be so certain and confident about the things and events of this world and what life truly is. For me, life and what it all means remains a sacred, precious and welcomed questionable mystery and I am okay with this. For me, there is a genuine beauty in the uncertainty, mystery and unknowing of it all. Lets not forget even the greatest and most world renowned spiritual and religious sages, saints, philosophers and teachers died, but for them they are no longer identified and attached to the mind/body experience and the ever-changing transitory world of the senses and sense objects. For me, their true identity abides in and with the Absolute, as the Absolute. For the one who is fully awake, the atman-yogi, death only belongs to the appearance, transition and disappearance of conceptual and conditioned things and creations. Our true and inexhaustible nature is the Deathless Self. What the Buddhist call 'emptiness'.
Certainly I am not willing to conclusively state any reason for life itself, but I am willing to state that I fully accept and acknowledge that we are a part of something much bigger and more meaningful than ourselves and our own self-interests and self-importance. And it is to this esoteric and impersonal knowing of knowing without knowing that I fully surrender this temporary embodied self-aware existence for however long it might last. I accept that the body is of the nature to die. Birth and death are inseparable. There is no birth without death. No death without birth. This is simply the way things are in this dual and conceptual world. This is why on the sacred path of self-inquiry into the true nature, origin and essence of reality and our identity we seek the truth and knowing of Pure Being, 'Spirit'; that which is unborn, formless, unchanging, without attributes and therefore ageless, timeless, unborn and deathless. I now present to you the 'Buddhist sutra on the Heart of Realizing Wisdom Beyond Wisdom'. May the truth and wisdom that it perfectly embodies become a genuine and direct experiential Self-realization for you and all self-aware creations.
The Buddhist sutra on the Heart of Realizing Wisdom Beyond Wisdom
Avalokiteshvara, who helps all to awaken, moves in the deep course of realizing wisdom beyond wisdom, sees that all five streams of body and mind are boundless and frees all from anguish.
Oh Sharipura, form is not separate from boundlessness (emptiness); boundlessness (emptiness) is not separate from form. Form is boundlessness; boundlessness is form. Feelings, perceptions, mental formations and discernment are also like this.
Oh Sharipura, boundlessness (emptiness) is the nature of all things. It neither arises or perishes, neither stains or purifies, neither increases or decreases.
Boundlessness (pure 'Spirit') is not limited by form, not so by feelings, perceptions, mental formations and discernment. It is free of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind; it is free of sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and any object of mind (knowing); it is free of sensory realms including mind-consciousness. It is free of ignorance and the end of ignorance. Boundlessness is free of old age and death and it is free from the end of old age and death. It is free of suffering, arising, cessation (the end of suffering) and path, and free of wisdom and attainment.
Being free of attainment, those who help all to awaken abide in the realization of wisdom beyond wisdom and live with an unhindered mind. Without hindrance, the mind has no fear. Free from confusion, those who lead all to liberation embody complete serenity.
All those, in the past, present and future, who realize wisdom beyond wisdom manifest unsurpassable, authentic and thorough awakening.
know that realizing wisdom beyond wisdom is no other than this great mantra, luminous, incomparable and supreme. It relieves all suffering. It is genuine, not illusory.
So set forth this mantra of realizing wisdom beyond wisdom. Set forth this mantra that says:
GATE, GATE, PARAGATE, PARASAMGATE, BODHI! SVAHA!
Gone, gone, gone to the other shore, completely gone to the other shore, enlightenment! Welcome!
This is the essential and core message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self, alone is.
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I am. Life is. I am one with all life and all life is one with me. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."
Song of the Deathless Yogi:
I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all.
Form is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'. Only 'emptiness'.
This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother.
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