What is this?
Who am I?
The Many Faces of the One: article 24 - the unpublished esoteric writings of an aging yogi.
'I-am 'Spirit' daily affirmation
"The wisdom and love of pure 'Spirit' guides me and protects me in all areas and facets of my life. I am always blessed and fulfilled with the plenitude of pure 'Spirit'. My thoughts, decisions and actions are always centered in the knowing and knowledge of pure 'Spirit's wisdom and love. Pure 'Spirit' has given me life and is always renewing me with the beauty, love and plenitude of life. Aligning my thoughts, words and actions with the knowing and knowledge of pure 'Spirit' I continue to be blessed by the loving grace of pure 'Spirit's divine presence. With pure 'Spirit' all blessings flow easily to me in abundance. With pure 'Spirit' I am always fulfilled beyond measure. The spiritual well-being and loving grace of pure 'Spirit' continuously blesses and fulfils me. I always abide in the spiritual well-being, peace, beauty, plenitude and love of pure 'Spirit'. I radiate pure 'Spirit' at all times, in all places and in all my thoughts and actions. I am always deeply connected and at one with pure 'Spirit'. OM, shanti, shanti, shanti. 'I-am', peace, peace peace.
AT ONE WITH THE DEATHLESS SELF
We are caught, or should I say the 'I' thought is caught in the idea that we have to strive to become and be someone in order to be whole, complete, perfected, fulfilled and worthy. Who and what we are is measured by what we achieve, have, do and portray to the world and others. Pure Being is already whole, complete, perfected, fulfilled and worthy as it is. Everything else is secondary. For the Self-realized soul, the atman-yogi, there is only the one; the one reality and identity as the many and yet remaining as the ultimate one. The Self-realized soul, the atman-yogi, is only identified with the Absolute and not the mind/body experience. The true Self is within all and all is within the Self.
Self-realization is the renunciation of ones individuality with the mind/body experience. Renunciation is the non-identification of the Self with the non-self. The world is within you and you are within the world. The body dies, but the 'Spirit' that is as 'I-am' is not touched or altered by death. The aim of spiritual Self-inquiry is the Self-realization of the Deathless Self, and one's true identity with it. The Impersonal Self has no bondage to the world and all its myriad and complexity of things and phenomena. It is only as long as the idea of a person thinks they are the doer of actions that they reap the consequences of their actions, but as soon as they realize the Self as the origin and essence of all actions and things, then the sense of being the doer falls away and so with it the idea of cause and effect. The 'I-am' of I am is free of space, time and forms.
All is the Deathless Self as the Deathless Self which is free of cause and effect. It is all the Self as the Self and nothing can change it or effect it. All our efforts in the pursuit of Self-inquiry into 'who I am' is simply to be rid of the mistaken impression and idea that one is limited, lacking and bound by the ever-changing conditions and activities of the mind/body experience and the conceptual and conditioned world of things. The idea and sense of being the doer is the bondage and not the actions and activities themselves. When you see pure 'Spirit' in all, and all in pure 'Spirit', then and only then are you totally free, as you have always been, of all that is changing, having never really been in bondage to anything or one. The true Self is beyond the consequences of cause and effect. So we can ask, 'who is it that is troubled by life?' 'Who is it that is pained by life?' 'To who do these experiences happen and effect? 'Who is it that feels like I am in bondage to the world?'
What is this?
Who am I?
The Self-realized soul, the atman-yogi, recognizes and knows that they and all creation are the Self, the one true reality and identity, which is both inside and outside, and is not bound or limited by any form, situation, drama or act. All that is, comes from the Self alone. As an aspiring and committed atman-yogi, we closely investigate and examine the thinker behind the 'I' thought; the 'I' behind the thinker; the source behind the sense of 'I'. It is said that the 'I' thought is the root of all other thoughts; from this 'I' thought all other thoughts arise; therefore find the source of the 'I' thought and by finding the source of the 'I' thought all other thoughts will vanish with it, and the source will be revealed as 'I-am'; which is free all thinking, thoughts, mind and intellect. This is how we realize our true deathless identity with the Absolute, pure 'Spirit'. This involves turning the mind inwards and tracing the 'I' thought back to its source. In this we realize that we are already what we seek; complete, whole, perfected, fulfilled and free. Being someone or something takes effort. Being ourselves as the Self does not. We just have to wake up and remember who we are behind all that we are telling ourselves to become and be. It is the idea and sense of being the doer that is the bondage, and not any actions in themselves. All our effort in the Self-inquiry of the 'I' and its source is only directed to given up the notion that we are limited or in bondage. Being the Self requires no effort on our part as we are already it but effort is required because we have forgotten our true identity with the boundless and enduring Self.
THE ENDURING LIGHT OF SELF
In esoteric Self-realization we, the atman-yogi, are not seeking to gain anything but to simply realize what already is. The Deathless Self is not something to be found and acquired, it simply is. In returning to the Self, one sees the Self only, and sees the world as a form assumed by the Self, and yet the Self remains free of cause and effect and all the activities, changes and dramas of the world. The Self-realized soul, the atman-yogi, knows that they are moved by the Real Self within, and are ultimately unaffected by what others do, say or think. There really is not a limited and permanent ego-centered self that experience belongs to; it is all impersonal and belongs to the Impersonal and Deathless Self. This is an enduring and ever-present reality that already is. It is not created, or made; formed or constructed; gained or found; acquired or sought. Otherwise this would mean it could be destroyed, broken, lost, taken away and removed. It is infinite, unchanging and unmoved. It eternally is. As a Self-realized and Awakened individualized embodied soul we are moved by the deeper and real Deathless Self. pure 'Spirit', within, and are unaffected and untouched by what we do, say, or think. Only the body and mind are touched as all change and actions belong to the senses and their sense objects. As the atman-yogi, we realize that nothing really belongs to the mind/body experience and mind-consciousness. Separateness and individuality are the real illusions and limitations of the ego, the 'I' thought. All is the Self as the Self within the Self, and always remaining as the Self - unchanged and unmoved.
It is the 'I-am' of I am.
After the embodied worldly events of spiritual Self-realization and awakening the individualized embodied person may continue to act and be in the world, and yet what is done or not done makes no difference to their innate and enduring truth or essence. The fully realized and awake atman-yogi is permanently identified with the Deathless Self, and therefore totally detached, unaffected and unidentified with the ever-changing conceptual world of things, dramas and phenomena, whilst all the time selflessly acting, playing and being the world. The genuine fully realized atman-yogi is aware and knows that all these things belong to the playing out of the mind/body experience and the Deathless Self remains unaffected, unaltered, unthreatened and unmoved by these things. Life simply continues to have the appearance of carrying out all the activities and behaviors of an individualized person, and yet the person has completely surrendered and died to the Self, which is unborn, ageless and deathless. It is the knower, the known and the knowing as one. This is the esoteric meaning of letting go; of true spiritual surrender and self-renunciation.
THE BODILESS SELF
The body is bound and conditioned by its nature, birth, growth, old age, decay and death, and yet the body does not bind the Self. The true Self is always free of birth, aging, decay and death, and therefore the illusion of bondage must be what is overcome. The Awakened Soul relinquishes the identity of the 'I' thought with the mind/body experience and so too relinquishes the limiting identity with the 'I' thought and the knowing of the 'I' thought. It knows intimately and fully the 'I' of the 'I' which we can call 'I-am', and yet 'I-am' is not an object or thing to be known. It is simply Pure Being independent of knowing and the objects of knowing. The Awakened Mind is one with the Absolute within which this body, this life and this world has its being, and yet it has transcended the self-imposed limitations, constructs and conditions of the mind/body experience. The true Self is not bound by anything or activity, and yet its nature and essence is expressed, embodied and present in all things. The Self-realized soul has transcended the consequences of cause and effect and is no longer bound by neither the body or its activities, the atman-yogi knows that the Self forever remains as it is, untouched, unchanged and unmoved, despite the appearance of things, conditions and dramas. The thinker, the objects of thinking, and the knowing of thinking all belong to the Self. Like the waves that belong to the ocean. It is all the Self, the one reality and identity, both inner and outer, which is not bound or limited by anything, forms or worlds. In truth there was never any bondage. The Self-realized soul knows intimately without knowing that all is the Self, and that our real natural state and essence is eternal and free but we imagine that we are bound and make strenuous effort to be free, although all the while being free.
Once we, the atman-yogi, give up regarding the unreal as being real, then only the Deathless Self alone remains, and this is what I mean by the statement that, 'Only God is Real'. And this is permanently and perfectly expressed as 'I-am'. All things, worlds and realms have their being with this truth of reality, experience and identity and from this truth of reality, experience and identity all things are perfect as they are one with the Self. And yet to those ignorant of their true identity this will not seem so. Having given up the illusion of 'I' as an individual thing or person, the 'I' knows its true identity with the true Self as 'I-am'. This is what is meant by the 'I' casting of the illusion of the 'I' and yet remaining as 'I'. Nothing has really changed as the 'I''s true identity was always the Deathless Self. Things have been seen for what they really are. There is no one who is in bondage even whilst still embodied in a mind/body experience. This is reality fully awake as the Self remaining as the Self. This is traditionally known in eastern philosophy and spirituality as 'Jivanmukta'; the awakened soul is free from the illusion of bondage whilst still remaining embodied. It is being in the world but not of the world, and yet at one with all the world. Nothing that the world is or is not can truly bound and affect the spiritually liberated soul. What is realized and known is beyond conceptualization, mind and intellect, and yet all this talking about it can potentially give us a flavor, taste and glimpse into the realization and awakening of a 'Jivanmukta'; a genuine fully liberated embodied soul.
WHAT IS THIS?
As I have stated Self-inquiry into the nature and essence of 'who am I?' is considered by many spiritual authorities on this matter to be the most direct method to perfect Self-realization. It is considered that Self-inquiry leads us directly to Self-realization by removing the false obstacles and hindrances that make us think that the Self is not already realized. Self-inquiry alone can reveal to us the truth of the matter at hand that neither the ego; the 'I' thought; the individualization of doer-ship, really exists as a thing, in and of itself. Once fully recognized, seen and known the limiting and false identity with the mind/body experience is extinguished and all abides as the unchanging and unmoving Self as 'I-am'. It is our true and indestructible natural state of Pure Being. It is not an experience in that it is something to be gained or acquired. It is completely free of conditioning and form and therefore it is not created or born. And yet one can realise this pure undifferentiated being of Self, which is always free and unaffected by all that is. I prefer to say it is not an experience. An experience requires a knowing of that experience. It is something witnessed and known by the act of knowing. It is something we can talk about and describe. It is something recalled and felt. These are experiences that belong to the world of the senses. This is why when approaching the Self-inquiry of Self-realization we do not look for something to be found, gained or acquired. It is not a thing. It simply is. The very idea of coming to it, or becoming and being it, or acquiring it, and realizing it, are all false. Even though someone of authority might describe it and communicate it this way. It would be far better to remain silent and still, but life does what it has to do. Just because there are full liberated souls in the world, the world doesn't stop and yet these liberated souls are not imprisoned and affected by what the world is or is not. All that the world is belongs to the world of the senses and is not the true Self.
Pure Being is the true essence of all that is. It is not made, created, formed, acquired, found, conditioned or born. It is an effortless and natural state of all that is as 'I-am'. It is always present and giving life to all things and all things are one with it. Even now all is it. You haven't got to acquire it; you simply have surrender and to let go of all that is false. What we ordinarily identify with and attach self-importance to belongs to the world of the senses. True awakening is simply giving up and letting go of our mistaken identity with all that is false, unreal, temporary and changing. Pure Being is regardless of circumstances, conditions, beliefs, views, opinions, ideas, and appearances. All that is has no affect on what it is. No individual or group of individuals have authority over it or ownership of it. It is the Self of all that is. It is unhindered, untouched, unaffected and unchanged by all that is and all the self-importance and neediness of the world. Those who truly realize it do not impose themselves on the world for they see all the world as the Self. They are one with all that is, and they remain untouched and free of all that the world is or is not. What is done or not done belongs to the world of the senses and not the Self. This is the abode and platform of the liberated soul, the atman-yogi, who is identified with the Self. We can easily have this idea that spiritual awakening should look a certain way. It should be a certain way, or appear and show up in a certain way. What it is already is, and it does not belong to the world of the senses. It is regardless. It is all; be it the material and visible or the immaterial and invisible. The Deathless Self alone is. This is the light of the true Self.
The 'I-am' of I am.
This is the essential and core message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self, alone is.
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I am. Life is. I am one with all life and all life is one with me. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."
Song of the Deathless Yogi:
I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all.
Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.
This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother.
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